More thoughts for today

I'm sitting here looking at my before picture and my first ever progress picture. I'm so shocked at the difference. My before photo, all I can see, is that ginormous gut. Wow. I guess I now know what it's like to get to that point and not think it's "that bad." Deep down inside I knew it was bad, but looking at it, it was worse than I thought. How utterly embarrassing. Truly. I always said I'd never let my weight get out of control. THAT is out of control. I can't believe I thought I was chubby in high school. 145 pounds, soccer player, great figure.....yet I wasn't happy with me then. Ultimately it comes down to emotions on top of the food itself. What emotions were driving me to think I was fat when I wasn't? I think I know the answer to that question. I never liked myself. I'm really not sure why exactly, but have a feeling it had to do with various factors growing up. I strive to change that in this process. Learn to love myself, like who I see in the mirror. If I could just view myself as others do, things would probably be very different. We are our worst critic however, right?! Those are things I need to work on.

I am amazed at how many inches are gone from my body. My arms hang closer to my body, my legs are able to close further, my bust is a lot smaller. Those pudgy places in the front of the armpits next to the bra line, are shrinking! My face is thinner. I am utterly shocked at my waist though. I tried on a pair of jeans this morning that I bought 3 years ago and never could wear. I have a few more inches, maybe 15 more pounds to lose and they'll fit. I could be surprised and find that I can wear them after this round. That is more motivation to keep going. Those jeans, I couldn't even get up my thighs before I started this. Now, I literally have 2 inches before I can button them. This protocol is insane when it comes to how many inches you lose.

I plan to head out to the shed to dig out some old clothes I've saved in hopes that something adorable fits.